If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my clients, it’s this — that many people need permission to feel the way they do. Somehow, somewhere along the road of human existence, we’ve made an unspoken rule that “abnormal” (whatever that means) is not allowed. Feeling sad? Better suck it up, because it’s not okay to cry. Feeling angry? Blow it off, it’s not that big of a deal. Elated about a recent accomplishment? Keep it to yourself, dear. It’s not okay to brag. We’ve become so worried about keeping up appearances and passing judgment that raw, legitimate emotions are taboo. It’s amazing to me how many clients begin to make forward progress when they hear me say “it’s okay to be angry at that person” or “it’s okay to be sad that they betrayed you” or “it’s okay be happy that you’re no longer in that situation”. There is tremendous freedom an individual gains just by me giving them proverbial permission to feel the way they do. Is it society? Family? Friends? Who knows…maybe it’s our own self that will not allow us to accept that the way we feel is normal. Guess what? “Normal” is all relative. My normal looks very different from yours. Our thoughts, feelings, emotions and behaviors are all formed and shaped based on our individual experiences with the world around us. Let’s all try judging each other less and cheering for each other more. Hug someone who is down & out. Be a friend to someone who is feeling lonely. Celebrate with someone who is having success. Without saying it, give someone permission to “be.” Imagine the world we could live in if we all did more “being”. ♥♥♥
Crossroads Mental Health Services 