Arrogant. Negative. Condescending. Argumentative. Rude. We all have encountered people with these characteristics. Maybe you deal with a person who fits these descriptions on the daily. Interacting with difficult people is unavoidable, but there are some sure-fire ways to keep your wits about you when you do. Here are five tips for dealing with the most difficult people…
1. Keep a positive mindset. Difficult people are more often than not some of the most negative humans on earth. No matter what sunshine and rainbows you toss their way, they can find the storm and rainclouds within. Keeping a positive attitude will help you not to be dragged down into the muck and mire with them. It will also help deter their negative comments. For every negative reaction they give, if you have something positive to counter with, they will eventually be worn down or give up. So, my friend, keep smiling and just go on about your business.
2. Be unaffected. Some difficult people get a secret pleasure in watching others squirm. They poke the bear to see how long it takes to get him riled up. The remedy for this, albeit tough as nails to accomplish, is to not get riled up! Whether you have to practice deep breathing exercises, go to your zen place or simply walk away, the more unaffected you can be, the better.
3. Choose your words wisely. My momma always said “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Boy is this statement true for dealing with people who have the personality of a rattlesnake. Because difficult people are also easily provoked, be mindful in the words you speak and tone of voice you choose. In no way does that mean you can’t speak your mind. Rather, speak with eloquence and dignity. Don’t give Oscar the Grouch a reason to bite your head off. If he does, though, see tips 1 and 2.
4. Keep your emotions in check. Want to know the best way to lose a battle with a difficult individual? Scream, cry, yell and have a complete meltdown. Trust me, they won’t feel compassion for you if this happens. They’ll walk back to their office (or wherever their space may be) with their chest bowed out, beaming with pride. After all, they won the game. They accomplished their intended purpose – to prove their point and shut down your argument. When things get heated, or when you feel your stress level rising, take a moment to ask yourself “is this fight worth my emotional/mental health right now?” If the answer is no, agree to disagree with the person and shut them down before you lose your cool.
5. It’s not you – it’s them! I can’t stress this one enough. Most difficult people are dealing with some sort of battle within themselves. They might have a low self-worth. They might have marital issues going on at home. They may be grieving (yes, even if the loss happened 20 years ago). They may have chronic pain. They may have suffered a major trauma at some point in their life. The list could go on and on as to the reasons why people are grouchy, irritable and just plain mean. When all else fails, remind yourself over and over that people are like icebergs – we only see their life for what is on the surface, and what is below the surface is incredibly deep.
Dealing with difficult people is a part of life. It doesn’t have to be something that affects us to the point of tears or undo stress. The only control we have is over our own self and how we react to others. Not to mention, at some point, we can all be a little difficult ourselves. ♥♥♥
Crossroads Mental Health Services 